i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
