We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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