it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
