My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
