your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
