he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
