4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
