I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
