OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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