Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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