I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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