He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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