I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
