I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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