Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
