Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
