I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
