Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
