So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
