Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
