She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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