You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
it glows. i had to have it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Rumble strips road head = magical
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
