Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
