one two three fourrrrnication!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
