You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
