She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
4 words: hood of his car
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
