kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
