i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
