Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
