i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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