I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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