Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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