She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
