why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
