I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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