you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
