the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
