Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
But theres a keg here and me gusta
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
