Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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