I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
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