Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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