When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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