Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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