Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
These tits shall not be calmed
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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