i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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