it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
