you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
