"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
