He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
