Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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